Shouldn’t Ros be more worried about seeing great works of visual art while she still has time to appreciate them than getting in her non-required reading? Louis, so it seems fair to assume that it would’ve reached Greendale by now. Which … doesn’t really make sense! Braille was invented in the early 1800s by 1860, it was in use at the Missouri School for the Blind in St. Ros is in a rush to read because she is losing her eyesight. Ros wants to read The Bluest Eye, which even my practically abstinence-only conservative public high school allowed, but Baxter says it’s too “graphic.” But after some fist-pumping and anti-censorship flyering, Witch Wardwell assists in starting a WICCA banned-book club for which this Toni Morrison classic is the first selection. Let me quickly dispense with the matters at Baxter High, which are - no offense to the mortals - boring! And really don’t merit our attention. Anybody else getting strong Philip and Elizabeth vibes here?īut I’m getting ahead of myself. People with secrets people who schemed and lied and probably told themselves that it was in Sabrina’s best interest to do so, but clearly felt like something was dicey about it or wouldn’t have bothered to be so secretive in the first place. Pretty disconcerting for Sabrina to find out that her parents - whose star-crossed love, she was led to believe, was so strong that it overcame every obstacle until their untimely, accidental demise - were actually the kind of people who kept things hidden from each other and, in turn, from their child. Rude! Just when I was thinking this was going to turn into yet another example of the witch-world ostensibly being all about empowering women but actually being a place where even the witchiest woman is under male control, we get this hot twist: Two days before Sabrina’s dad signed his daughter’s soul away to the devil, Sabrina’s mom sneaked away with Aunt Hilda to have your standard-issue shiksa baptism, which I must admit, I don’t know a ton about, but I think it’s a lot less intense than “now your body and soul is the Dark Lord’s to do with what he wishes.” Turns out that when Sabrina was just a little baby half-witch, Aunt Zelda whisked her away in the woods with her dad, who signed Sabrina’s name in the Dark Lord’s book on her behalf.
Sister secrets are the most explosive of all the secrets! It’s all very Saints for All Occasions. The Spellmans have got human secrets and magic secrets, marriage secrets and sister secrets. Even the most boring, ordinary kinds of families have - and this is a conservative estimate - 10 trillion secrets among them. No more secrets! Brina, babe, your aunts are at least a hundred years old, right? We are talking about family here.
Upon discovering that both of her aunts have been hiding some high-stakes backstory not just from her but also from each other, she says, “No more secrets.” I nearly fainted from laughter. The most unintentionally hilarious line in this episode comes from our willful, earnest Sabrina.
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